Stillbirth

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We have information and birth plans for several stillbirth situations:

 

You are invited to share your story here as well: please remember that sharing your story at stillbirthday is a way to express your feelings and share your experiences with other mothers – it is not to diagnose, treat or answer any medical questions.

You might visit our farewell celebrations for ideas to celebrate your baby.

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Comments

  1. Our son was born still on November 25th, 2002. His name was Mark Thomas Jr. We miss him so much! He was our first born son!

    • I am so sorry for your loss. I too, lost a son on December 11, 2008. He was also my first born son. I had the perfect pregnancy, etc. People have been very hurtful to me verbally with respect to my loss. I never imagined my life would have ended up like this.

      • Jana Carpenter says:

        I’m sorry to all of you Moms!! I too never-ever thought that my life would have ended up like this. I had no problems, no morning sickness, no swelling, ate right, meausred great every visit, blood work was always good. At my 37 week routine visit, I was supposed to be getting the date for the scheduled c-section. She tried to check her heartbeat which had been strong and in normal range every visit, there was nothing. My doctor did an unltrasound, didn’t say anything except lets go to the hospital for a better ultrasound. The induced me at 3:30 pm and my angel baby arrived at 9:22 pm.

  2. I gave birth to my daughter whom was born still on November 30th, 2011, six days after she had passed away. Her name is Isabella Marie Torres. And I love her with all my heart. And I miss her with all of it as well.

  3. Daniel Patrick was born on Monday 16th September 2002, 24hrs before my birthday. My midwife had checked the heartbeat on Friday night, but when I went into labour at 36wks on the Sunday there was nothing. Some drs believe he had died a week or more before I gave birth, but I will never know for sure. I have 2 girls, one older and one younger than Daniel, but he will always be “my beautiful boy”.

  4. Alyssa Brielle was born Tuesday August 23rd 2011 at 11:08 pm she had passed 7 ours before I actually gave birth to her. I was exactly 37 weeks along. Alyssa was my first child. I had an appointment at 2 that afternoon and her heart beat was going in and out. I will never forget my daughter and the lord know I miss her with all my heart!

    • Hillary Stacie says:

      Amber,
      My daughter Sinise Ann was born still 8.14.11. She was full term. Today would be her 6 month birthdate. Thank you for sharing your memory of your daughter on this website. Happy Valentines to you and your Angel baby!

    • My experience was 20 years ago next month April 9 8.43pm 1992. A gorgeous little girl born sleeping. Her name Claudia. I always think of her just before i go to sleep each night. . We have had 2 handsome sons 1ST he is 19 now 2ND will turn 13 this July. He took 5 attempts. And now a beautiful little girl 2.5 years who we cherish. Most people say with no idea of my past, gee you like to space them out? Little do they know. I always shake them off with, yes I do. Your experience was so close to mine. I wish you the best Amber.

      • Thank you for sharing your story Lisa. God bless you and your family. Yes, people can be very hurtful many, many times with the words that they speak. You know how you can check the spelling within a document before you print it? This should be required before hurtful words are spoken. Yes, shake them off.

    • I am so sorry for your loss Amber. Your precious Angel is in Heaven with my son enjoying all that eternal life has to offer.

  5. Tara Anjelica was born sleeping and beautiful on 30th January 2012. i miss her so much. I am struggling to cope with all the sadness in me.

  6. Alexandra says:

    Elodie was forced out my womb last Friday 1 June 2012 02.30 a.m and her heart was no more beating since 24hours before. I have so much to say and I miss her so much as she would have been my little princess. Fortunately I already have a little prince who will be 18 months on 22 June, he gives me courage to continue and I would like to help others who have experienced the same thing.

  7. Rosalind says:

    I lost my beautiful little girl at 40w10d during labour. We named her Alexandra Scarlet May. She was our first-born and conceived through IVF. I honestly don’t know how we’ll ever move on – life seems so dark now. Sorry for all your losses.

  8. riley was stillborn on weds 9-26-12 at 34 weeks. i had an ultrasound on 9-21 and everything was fine. i noticed she wasn’t moving on 9-25. i went to the hospital where they did an ultrasound and could not find a heart beat. i delivered my angel on weds at 830 am. i miss her so much. i had so many plans for our family.

  9. I gave birth to my son, Malik, on September 18th at 10:20pm. He weighed 1lb 7oz. I was 25 weeks 1 day. I had just heard his heartbeat the day before but noticed he wasn’t moving so I went back in and he was gone. I miss my baby boy so much.

  10. We lost Evie oct 4, 2012, it’s been a week today. She was 36 weeks. I hadn’t felt her move as much tues evening, went in for a scheduled ultrasound early next morning and no heart beat. She had cord accident wrapped six times around with a knot. Just hurts more every day, I miss her and want to hold her again;(

  11. I am so sorry to all the parents who gave birth to a still baby. My son, Nathaniel William was born still on 9/7/2012 and I know that with time it will get easier and that I have only been grieving for a short amount of time. I miss my son daily and there is not one day that goes by that I don’t think about him. He was my first son, I have one daughter who is 3 1/2….so one angel here on earth and one angel baby. Our son had a “true knot” in his umbilical cord and on 9/5/2012 we went in to the doctor due to low fetal movement and they could not locate my angels heartbeat. He was born at 24 weeks and was beautiful. I miss him more as the days go on. It is a daily emotianal struggle since the wounds are so fresh but I seem to get through the day.

  12. On the night of Thursday, October 18th I started having cramping in my lower abdomen. Something just did not feel right. Because I’ve never been through labor before, I didn’t know this was the start of the contractions I would be having over the next few days. The cramping slowly got worse. While my regular OB wasn’t in the office on Friday, I made an appointment to see another doctor anyway.

    The doctor that I saw took some labs and diagnosed me with a urinary tract infection (UTI). She started me on an antibiotic and said that she was running a culture and would get the results back on Monday. I went home and tried to get some rest. However, Friday night I was in quite a bit of pain and started vomiting. I was to the point Saturday morning that I hadn’t been able to keep any food or water down. I wasn’t able to take the zofran or the antibiotic that they gave me the other day. The cramping was to the point that I could time it… 4 to 5 minutes apart.

    Saturday October 20th, I went to the ER around 11 am. I told them the symptoms I’ve been been having and that I haven’t been able to eat or drink anything, including my medications. I told them that the cramping was 4 to 5 minutes apart. I explained how bad I was feeling and they did some blood work and checked for the baby’s heartbeat with the fetal tone monitor. The baby’s heart beat was about 170, which was slightly elevated but they were not concerned. They gave me an antibiotic, anti-nausea medication, a pain medication and then released me.

    Saturday night I called the nurses at my OB’s office. I explained to the nurse how bad the cramping was and that I could barely stand it. Since my pharmacy was already closed, she sent in a prescription for Vicodin to a 24 hour pharmacy which I went to get. She told me that if I took the Vicodin and the pain didn’t feel better after an hour that I should return to the ER.

    I took the medicine right before 7pm that night and by 8 o’clock I had no relief. I was laying in my bed crying. I asked my roommate to take me back to the ER but he had plans with someone to go to a haunted house and wanted me to watch his son. Another one of my friends said that I could drop my room mates kid off and she would watch him, but couldn’t take me to the ER because she was babysitting. I was in no condition to drive myself to the hospital and so I called my mom. My mom told me that pain was normal during pregnancy and I just needed to suck it up. After sending a text message to one last friend, and the fact that she was unable to drive me to the ER, I gave up and tried to sleep.

    I was 16 weeks when I woke up at 1:00 am Sunday October 21, 2012 to go to the bathroom. As I went to the bathroom, I felt something “pop”. I looked down and the toilet was full of blood. I freaked out, woke my room mate and had him take me immediately to the ER. I later found out that I had just lost my mucus plug. By the time I got to the ER I was losing clots of blood the size of my hand. I was put in an ER room and was told I had to wait for a doctor because an ambulance had just arrived.

    My parents came into the ER room shortly after, and were by my side during the rest of the traumatic morning. A nurse came in to talk to me and I told her how much blood I was losing. I told her as I was sitting on the table and I said… “I think my water just broke”. She said it’s ok and asked my parents to step out to clean off the table and to clean myself off. As I stood up to clean myself off, I put my leg up on the table and my daughter came out, in my hand, stillborn.

    I screamed. I could hear my mom screaming through the door if I was alright. I remember crying and screaming at the nurse. I remember the amount of blood that was draining down my legs and onto the floor. I remember my heart sinking. And then the thought… today, October 21, was the father of my child’s birthday. I fainted. I think I might have been sitting down but I fell to the floor. There was blood all over the room and all I could do was cry. The nurse then told me I had a baby boy and asked if I wanted an autopsy or any type of testing done. I said I did, because I want to find out why such a thing has happened.

    I remember waiting for the doctor. After the doctor came in he said he was finally calling down the OB and that I should just wait there because they needed to see if the placenta was going to come out of if I needed surgery to remove it. I remember him coming in and the feeling that he was being very insensitive because he kept saying he was sorry over and over again while ripping, scraping, cutting, whatever he was doing to remove my placenta. I screamed. I cried. I was mad because it physically hurt and I was mad because my heart hurt.

    Shortly after removing the placenta the ER doc came back in and released me from the ER. I was released about 6 am while I was still bleeding profoundly. The doctor prescribed some medications that would supposedly stop the bleeding and I went home to process what had just happened. I was so numb I couldn’t even take it in what had just happened. I did not sleep. I didn’t do much but sit in the chair at my parents house and cry. It hurt so bad that I just could not do much of anything.

  13. Jamie Button says:

    So very sorry to hear the heart wrentching stories of yalls sweet Angels. My heart goes out to you all.
    My angel was born 3/24/09, Grace Paraleigh. I was 28 weeks. She moved a lot and Friday night I had decreased movement, I called the dr but they never called me back. I laid down and felt her move, but not much. Saturday I had to work and still didn’t feel right. My husband came and picked me up and we went to L&D. They hooked me up and I could hear her move and heart beat but couldn’t feel her. They said the placenta is in front and that’s why I couldn’t feel her. Sunday I just still don’t feel right. So Monday I made an app and I remember holding my breathe and praying for her to move 🙁 at the office all by myself it was confirmed, no heartbeat. After delivering and all the amounts of blood work, I have no closure. I have had a healthy baby girl since then and think about Grace everyday.
    My sister-in-law this past weekend, the EXACT same thing had happened to her :,( she delivered her angel Chloe Dale 11/12/12 :,( my heart is shattered and it is making me physically ill for her to have to go through this. I have prayed my hardest for her to have a perfect pregnancy and I’m soooo discouraged.

  14. Melissa Lee says:

    I just lost my 3rd baby boy, Simon, on November 13th. He had been such an active little boy in my womb. I awoke on Monday, the 12th, with a mild fever and body aches. I noticed that evening that due to continuous braxton hicks contractions I hadn’t felt him move. We discovered on Tuesday that he no longer had a heartbeat. I was 37 weeks along, the same age my 1st son was born in fetal distress but healthy. I never imagined I would be here now. In only 2 weeks I see a “before” life and an “after” life.

  15. My daugther was born sleeping at 20 weeks. The day I was supposed to find out the sex. I found she was a girl and that she no longer had a heartbeat. Leigha kathleen was born on 12-20-12 on her daddys birthday.we tried for 7 years for her. I hope that one day I am better. I feel alone ,lost and empty right now

  16. krista, email me if you’d like to talk mel_issa_4@live.com

  17. First of all I want to say how sorry I am to all the Momma’s with angel babies. I myself had a chemical pregnancy. But I am writting this for my sister in law. She lost her baby boy at 25 weeks. This happened on the 4th. As far as she knew she was having a normal pregnancy. Went in for a normal check up and her sweet baby Zachary had no heart beat. My question for you is.. How can I help her? I feel so sad and I can’t give her the “I know how you feel” I don’t know how hard it is. But I want to help in some way, what did you find comforting? I know I can’t fix it but I want to comfort her in the right way. I don’t want to say the wrong thing. Any help would be great. God bless you all.

  18. First of all I want to say how sorry I am to all the Momma’s with angel babies. I myself had a chemical pregnancy. But I am writting this for my sister in law. She lost her baby boy at 25 weeks. This happened on the 4th. As far as she knew she was having a normal pregnancy. Went in for a normal check up and her sweet baby Zachary had no heart beat. My question for you is.. How can I help her? I feel so sad and I can’t give her the “I know how you feel” I don’t know how hard it is. But I want to help in some way, what did you find comforting? I know I can’t fix it but I want to comfort her in the right way. I don’t want to say the wrong thing. Any help would be great. God bless you all. You are all amazing Momma’s.

    • Jessica,
      I am so sorry for the two losses that you have experienced in your family. My heart truly goes out to you. At my 33 1/2 weeks appointment we found out our first precious child had no heart beat on march 26th 2013. My birthday followed the next day and I delivered my baby boy a day after my 27th birthday (3/28/13). The pain is unimaginable but what has helped me is my sister has given me a journal. I write letters to my baby all the time and it helps. You’re sister might not ever ask for help so even little things like taking her to lunch or just visiting can help her through the darkness. If you have any photos a photo album would be nice. All I have left is memories and when I’m up to it, looking at my baby helps me get through the days. I pray that your family gets through this difficult time. It’s never going to be easy but having loving family/support makes a difference.

  19. annalissa acosta says:

    I lost my natalie October 11, 2012.. its been real hard for me iam young.. ill be 25 in September.. I want another but iam scared

  20. I miss AJ every day. We lost him to a still birth on November 14, 2012. Tomorrow will be three months.

  21. Krista, my daughter was stillborn on 12-21-12. We found out at my 25 week check-up that she no longer had a heartbeat. She had actually passed away several weeks earlier. She never moved much, and while it made me nervous to not feel her, I didn’t panic. There was nothing that could have been done anyway. She had an extremely tight true cord knot. We found at my 2.5 yr old sons birth that his cord also had a true knot. The OB said it was very rare for someone to have had two true knots. Makes me nervous about having any more.

  22. Our precious angel Josef Anthony was stillborn 2/19/13 at 39 weeks; 6 lbs 11 oz on the date of my elective c-section. His movements had slowed in the prior days, but I still felt slight movements which nurses assured me this was typical as my due date came closer. That morning I went in and when they went to find the heartbeat there was nothing…. He had only passed 5-10 hours earlier…. the cord had become wrapped and he had a true knot in it as well. All I have now is faith that one day we will see him again and for the time being he is our little angel in heaven watching over us and his big sister. I am still numb with the shock of this and know only with time will things start to feel better. Freinds and family offer support, but without going through it themselves I don’t think they can fully relate…

    • Rebecca says:

      My dear i’m sorry for your loss i had the same
      experience in Nov 16 2012.the least our family can do is be there for us but for someone who has not went through thing they won’t really understand.be strong!

    • Christina says:

      My little hunny, Hudson Michael, passed away on 2/11/13. He was 39 weeks, 5 days. He was a perfect little guy at 7 pounds, 3.9 ounces and 21 inches long. He had passed about 24 hours prior to his birth. I still do not know what caused his passing. My heart is broken, but this site and all of you ladies help make me feel a little better, knowing I am not alone. My heart goes out to each of you… Thank you for sharing your stories…

  23. Cassandra says:

    I am very sorry for everyones loss

    Friday April 5th 2013, 4:30pm I went in for my 32 week 3 days visit thinking everything was going to go as usual, get belly mesurments and listen to the baby’s heartbeat.Well they wanted to do a NST (non-stress test) so they start hooking me up to the monitor and the nurse couldnt get a heartbeat so she calls in the doc. He tries and couldn’t get it on the mechian either. So he pulls out his hand held doppler and tries that. Still nothing. So they do an ultrasound and that’s when I found out my baby had passed away. They sent me directly to the hospital (5:3 pm to be induced. They hook me up to an iv and start me on high dose pitocin. Mind you I was not dialated or anything and my body was not ready for birth yet. hence the high dose pitocin. The doc on call came in a few hours later (around 1:30 am) to see if I progressed any and to break my water if he could.. and so I could get my epidural( was recommended by my doc at doc office because the cramps would be really painful. So I agreed)I had not progressed any so he couldn’t break my water . So he sad that it was going to take some time before things would begin. That we should exspect things to begin around noon saturday.(I didn’t get my epiduarl because i wanted to wait till the doc broke my water Which would be some time saturday afternoon) So they gave me some meds (a Demeral and frenergan cocktail) (4:00am) in my iv to help with the “cramps” and to help me sleep At about 5:30am saturday morning I woke up because i had to go pee.So the nurse comes in and helps me out of bed because I was groggy from the medication. I do my business, get back in bed and go back to sleep. Around 6:30 I wake back up and I’m sitting in my bed trying to get a wake and focus on my breathing. The medication made me very groggy and didn’t help much with the pain from the cramps. All of a sudden I felt my water break so I buzzed for my nurse immediately. So my nurses that had been taking care of me that night got me prepped as they waited for the doc. The doc comes in and I begin to push. It takes me 8 pushes.(Me trying to stay awake long enough to push. The medication was really getting to me)……..At 7:07am Saturday April 6th 2013 I gave birth to a beautiful baby BOY( the sex had been a surprise the whole pregnancy). He was 10 inches long and weighed just 14 ounces. Yes he was stillborn. But I still wanted to hold him. I didn’t carry him for 8 month to just not hold him and have him taken from me. So I sat there holding him for I don’t know how long. Tears running down my face. I looked at him and whispered. ” I love you my beautiful baby boy. You are and will always be mommy’s lil tator tot” and kissed his tiny forehead……. Rest In Peace Blake Calbert Larck

  24. My husband and I tried for children for almost four years when out of the blue we were blessed with our son, Liam. He took us by surprise and I’ve never felt the joy like he brought us. The last week I was pregnant is now odd to me looking back. My last doctors appt she changed my medicine, and that night I thought my mucus plug came out. I called the l&d and she said not to worry and to not come in. The next saturday was when my life changed, my water broke at 20 weeks exactly. After being in the hospital for 24 hours, seeing our son on an ultrasound, and hearing his heartbeat even 5 mins before I went into labor, our son was born. William Jay Coheed was born 4/28 at 4:52pm. My little angel baby with his perfect daddy’s nose. Will we try again? Sure, we never intended on him being an only child but this is all still new to me and the depression I’m having is so unimaginable to someone who hasn’t gone through this. Rest easy our little Liam, mommy and daddy misses you every moment of everyday.

  25. I still cant stop crying. My first little girl was born June 17, 2013. Aurelia
    Mae K. She was an accident, and I was never really much into the idea of children, but with my wonderful husband and after some time I was really getting excited. Everything as going great with the pregnancy, I was even working. One day she didn’t seem to be that active, but I blew it off. I worked the next day and woke up in horrible pain, so I went to the hospital. that’s where they told me there was no heartbeat and we had to induce immediately. that phone call on that fathers day to my man was the worst thing ever. After a bout with preeclampsia, and 3 days in the hospital, I came home with a broken heart and a box. No expecting mother deserves that. now, with no job and my husband working 8-5 m-f, it all seems so pointless now. its like were being zombies and doing what we have to for no reason. I see the pain in his sweet face and feel it as he leaves for work in the am. We made an angel… she was perfect

  26. I just sat and read everyone’s broken hearts and just wanted to say to everyone how sorry I am for your losses. My husband and I also lost our daughter, McKenna Joy, to stillbirth on September 21, 2011. I had undiagnosed eclampsia and ended up having seizures during labor which our angel didn’t live through.Those days afterwards were the darkest days of my life. It’s hard to want to live and recover when your arms are so terribly empty and your breasts are leaking milk for the baby you never got to suckle. But God gave grace and with the comfort and compassion of friends who’d also experienced loss I was able to hold on until the anguish subsided somewhat and I began to enjoy life again. Now, almost 3 years later, we have a wonderfully healthy son who turns 1 next week. He doesn’t fill the hole McKenna left. He fills his own hole and hers will always be empty, but I’ve accepted that. God bless you all, and may we all find peace and comfort after our losses. Blessings!

    • Amanda Hess says:

      I am so sorry you had to go through such a tragedy. I can relate to your words “He fills his own hole and hers will all be empty” and I appreciate you sharing your voice because I listened and I understand. My daughter Lily was stillborn 07-10-06 from a “imbilical cord accident” and the pain still remains but I survived my darkest hours days and years. I waited a year after Lily passed to ry for another child and my daughter Nadia was born 03-12-08. Nadia has a cousin Mckenna who is a year older that stayed with us a lot when they were 4 & 5 years old cause we were neighbors and they were little buddies always having “sleep overs”! McKenna ended up moving out of state though and we miss her. Ever since Mckenna moved away my daughter likes to pretend to be her and she will knock on the door and I have to say “who is it” and she says “it’s me McKenna” and we have to stay in character for a while. Mckenna’s mom passed away tragically during the time she stayed with us and lived next door. I watched a child grieve her mom and it was heartbreaking. A young girl lost her mommy. We both lost daughters and I have one who makes me call her McKenna 🙂 I will keep you and your McKenna in my heart and thoughts and prayers. I will put tobacco down and ask Creator to be with you and your family.

  27. April 23,2013 I went for my 36 week checkup. The nurse couldn’t find a heartbeat. My doctor did an ultrasound and there was no movement. I delivered by C-section 4-25-13 to an 8 lb 12 oz baby boy. Named. Tiberius Armon Sides. My doctor said the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and choke him. I had 3 miscarriages for got pregnant with Tiberius.

  28. On May 5th 2013 I woke up at 6:30am and touched my belly to say hi to my baby and feel him move but I didn’t feel him move but didn’t panic because I thought he was in a deep sleep since I was already 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant, so I got up and went for a walk around the block. When I got home I noticed my baby had not moved in like 45 minutes and began to worry. I had a great pregnancy and the doctor never had a concern so I was still not panicking. I drank water with ice which would definately make the baby move and nothing. I finally told my husband that the baby was not moving so we called my doctor and were told to go to the hospital. My mom was with us at the time and I remember telling. Her “what if my baby died like yours did?” (My mother had a still birth with my first sister, she was 37 weeks pregnant). We got to the hospital and we were told that there was no heart beat. The worst news a first time mom could hear, or second, or third time mom……My husband and I were devastated. I was then told my labor would be induced to have a natural birth so I did, I was in labor for 16 hours. My son was born asleep on May 6th 2013, his name is Liam Sebastian. 7lbs 14oz, and 22 inches. My heart is broken but God is my strength…I know one day I will be happy again…and my son made me a mom and nobody can change that.

  29. Melanie Dee says:

    Our first baby girl Kali was born still after a beautiful day of laboring at home. Her poppa and I are trying so hard not to dwell in what might have caused her to pass shortly before her birth. Everything had been fine and then her heart beat became erratic and we transferred to hospital quickly. We three shared 91/2 wonderful months together, I loved every moment with her, did everything with her in mind and as a smile on my face. . . the only comfort we find is in the hours we spent holdiing her after, the photo’s of her then, how her 8lbs11oz felt in our arms. These are such sad stories, but we honour our dear ones by writing their names down and hopefully take comfort in knowing we are not alone and this is part of the great balance of life. So thankful to all who shared here….

  30. susana s. says:

    Our last baby at 24 weeks passed away this august 21 2014, we went to clinic to check our baby because he is not moving our doctor said she cant hear his heartbeat, it hurts because we have two daughters and this one is a baby boy. We surely miss him, he is now an angel with our Creator.

  31. Riley haines says:

    My husband and I lost our little Piper on 2/20/15. I was 41+1d when I went into labor. She had a beating heart one minute and nothing the next. I had a placental abruption that took her from us. All of your stories are so heart breaking. I hope all of you get your rainbow babies.

  32. Joyce Lewis says:

    On april 8th of this year I went to the hospital because I hadn’t felt my baby boy move that day I was 36 weeks and 3 days and when they looked for a heartbeat they couldn’t find it . Not with the Doppler or ultrasound just silence. I gave bith April 9th at 8 :55 pm to my beautiful little boy . I miss him with my heart and soul . He was my first baby . I never expected our first moment together to be our last .

  33. Amanda Hess says:

    9 years ago today James Jdogg Hess and I lost our first born daughter Lily Ayyla-Ann Hess who was stillborn due to the umbilical cord. I was full term and we had planned on bringing home a healthy happy baby and instead we found ourselves facing the hardest thing in life we have ever had to face. I had to deliver my child and bring her into this world knowing that she was already gone. I just woke up feeling no movement from her one day and we went to the hospital where they told us our baby would be stillborn. We had to plan our baby’s funeral while I was in labor. This was the hardest day of my life and still is to this day. We were able to hold her and say our goodbye’s but no one should ever have to feel the pain that comes with losing a child. I have been in counseling for years now and I am learning that I am healing and that by sharing my story it helps in this healing process. James and I got married when I was 7 months pregnant with her. Lily was there when we officially became a family and she has always brought us closer together and made our love for each other even stronger. Even though my heart still feels broken when I think about losing her my love for her will never fade. Even though my hopes and dreams for her life were not realized the way I imagined she still changed me for the better. I am a better person and a better mother because of her. I still cherish the 9 months that I had her inside me so close to my heart. I cherish the family that we have even though she is not physically here with us. Even though our physical bond is broken our spiritual bond remains. A year and nine months after Lily was born we were blessed with our second child Nadia. She has brought us so much joy and filled our hearts with love again. I know for me I try so much harder as a parent to be the best mom I can be because I know how fragile life can be. I know I for one will never take Nadia for granted!! Life is so short and so precious!! Kiss and hug your loved ones every chance you get because you never can be prepared for what could happen. There has been so many times the pain has felt like too much to bear but I am lucky to have a wonderful support system of family and friends. I am so blessed to especially have James and Nadia and Lily in spirit here with me in my life. I love you all so much and nothing will ever change that. I appreciate all the love and support we have received over the years from everyone it has always meant a lot. I love and miss you Lily and may you always rest in peace my precious angel baby.

  34. 4 months ago, to the day, I was burying my beautiful baby boy, named Liqhayiya. I was full term when he had an umbilical chord accident. I miss him everyday, my heart bleeds every month on the 12,13,14 as these were the dates I was admitted, gave birth and buried him respectively. There are not many places or support groups for stillbirths in my part of the world, I feel so lost…

    • Amanda Hess says:

      The same thing happened to me 9 years ago. It is still very hard. You are not alone. I understand how you feel. Please know you are in my thoughts.

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